New Beginnings.

It's 2 am and my eyes are burning. I'm running barefoot back to the front door. I know I can't look back to the glowing red of your tail-lights because I know I will need you more. And the moment that pickup  truck roars into gear and drives away, the only thing on my mind is how I wish it would come right back.



A few people have recently mentioned the prospect of blogging to me, so here I am now. It sounded like fun initially, but my more valid excuse for starting this is perhaps that it could be beneficial in some way to my dream of being a writer. Also, I think it might be something I could personally thrive off of in some way. It could be food for me.

I am moving to California this week, and this summer, I have been nothing but ecstatic. But now I have been rubbed raw of this excitement and I'm physically sore from the stress of the inevitable. I fell in love with a boy in 2008 beneath a swingset, and now four years later, I still replay our first kiss. My father told me then that I was silly. I was young and there was so much for me to learn about the world. He told me that what I felt then would be nothing compared to what I felt at age 17. And that what I felt at age 17 would be nothing compared to what I would feel at age 20 or 21.

He was both right and wrong. He perhaps never imagined that I would be with the same boy, and so in this way, he was mistaken. When I fell in love with you, it was absolutely overpowering. I truly believed that there was no more fervent love in all the world. What I had found was the epitome. I was consumed by my love for this boy. But my father was correct, however, in that what I thought was the epitome was only a faint reflection of the love I feel now. Because every day, heaven's existence is proven to me simply in the existence of this boy.

And the notion of moving thousands of miles away from him has me torn.

The coast is calling me. I am bound for travels, for this great adventure. But he is my North Star, my compass for these brave explorations. Take a dive with me.